20 Signs You’re Not a Functioning Adult in Your 20s

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

Let’s face it: we buy our big kid clothes, we set up bank accounts, we finally learn to check our oil. But a lot of us are still struggling with the whole adult thing. We’ve made a few transitions- we update our iTunes ocassionally, and we have those fancy signatures at the end of our emails. But there are plenty of signs we’re still far from functioning adults.

Using the telephone is still a terrifying endeavour.
You base your furniture purchases on how easily it will fit in a UHaul.
You dread your 26th birthday, not because it means you’re officially in your mid to late 20s, but because it means you’ve lost your parents’ health insurance.
Your student debt is enough for a house down payment.
You still get mistaken for a fifteen-year-old occasionally.
You eat cereal for dinner more than once per week.
You go to the grocery store to buy “healthy, well-balanced” food and leave with 2 bottles of wine, popcorn, and string cheese.
You convince your parents to purchase a Netflix account so you can bum off their subscription.
You wait until you’re wearing your last pair of clean underwear to do laundry.
You’ve adopted new hairstyles solely based on how well they hide dirty hair.
Every Wednesday you find yourself saying at meal time, “Well, I’ve only had Chipotle twice this week..”
You cite Cher Horowitz or Buffy Summers as a source of authority to end arguments (or Lilo & Stitch for the younger millennials).
You can’t get used to not having summers off.
You’re still wearing clothes from high school.
You call your gym to find out if they’re playing the premiere of your favorite show because you don’t have cable.
You get an annoyed call from your boss because while filling out your I-9s, you somehow indicated that you are a military spouse over the age of 65.
You actually believe that Netflix will email you to inquire after your health when you watch 72 hours straight of Friday Night Lights. (But really though, we thought this was a thing).
You joined a book club to feel like an adult and got bored because there were no talking animals.
Buzzfeed is a valid newsource to you.
You’re not sure why you can’t list your dog on your life insurance.

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