Stop It With The Gay Husband Stuff

Dear “white girls” of the world,

This letter has nothing to do with race, but how we as twenty-something young women are perceived by the media. Let me preface this by saying I’m totally one of you. I wear too much makeup, I really love One Direction, and I, too, was obsessed with “The Hills” and “Laguna Beach” in high school. But, there’s one thing y’all need to stop with: the epidemic of the “gay husband.”

As a straight person who works as an ally in the LGBT community, I know that this isn’t my place to say anything, but I feel like maybe you’ll all realize that this is coming from a place of love and understanding. Contrary to popular belief, gay or queer men are not around solely for your entertainment. I understand the whole phenomenon behind the token gay friend on reality TV; shows like “Keeping Up With The Kardashians” and “The Girls Next Door” glorify this idea that every fashionable woman needs a “gay husband” like she needs the next designer handbag.

I know, I know, you’re thinking, “Hey…lady, I don’t mean any harm. I’m not homophobic.” And trust me, I totally get it. I would totally marry some of my male friends who just so happen to be gay, but I don’t befriend them simply for the novelty of being gay. To simply want someone around to make a character out of them is unfair and at the most extreme dehumanizes them.

Despite what the media may think about you, ladies, I know that you’re intelligent, compassionate beings and I know that you don’t mean to hurt anyone. It’s a touchy subject, but all I want is respect for everyone.

The next time you call someone your “gay husband” or whine about how you want a gay friend, think about the people that you’re affecting and cherish them for something in your friendship that doesn’t have to do with their sexuality.

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Kristin
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  • Thank you for this commentary. I’m married, we have 8 kids, 15 gkids and 5 ggkids. I have several friends whom I consider close friends. What I don’t consider them is as occupants of a specific role to be played in my life, I value them for who they are. The role a friend plays in one’s life should be to create synergy in the friendship. You hit that principle right on the head; to value a person for a role or an appearance they can play is to demean them and when one acts in such a manner, they diminish themselves as well. Drive on Kristin

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