Among the understandable fears we all face in our 20s—getting a job, paying bills, school, relationships, family issues—we twenty-somethings tend to have a few fears that, while not necessarily rational, make total sense to us. Thus, this week’s Twenty-Something Tuesday pays homage to all the wonderfully weird fears that plague us on the daily.
1. ) Getting Pregnant
When you aren’t planning on having kids anytime soon, pregnancy is a legitimate concern. Even if you’re using contraception. Don’t know nothin’ bout birthin’ no babies.
2.) Going to Jail
You may be a perfect, law-abiding citizen, but when you get pulled over or hear sirens while you’re out and about it’s a distinct possibility they could be trying to arrest you for music piracy or that one time you stole that one candy from that one store.
Have any of y’all seen the BuzzFeed post on this? It is legitimately one of the most disgusting things ever. Trypophobia is the fear of small holes. And the Internet is for some reason in love with photoshopping them onto different things and SCARING THE CRAP OUT OF EVERYONE. Think you’re not afraid? Try reading the BuzzFeed post and if it doesn’t make you gag at least once…you’re a rockstar.
4.) Getting Let Go From Your Job
You finally manage to find a job that wants to employe you and pay you money, and OK, maybe they work you to death, you’re bored out of your mind, and you feel your soul sucking out of your ears, but it’s your job, and the fact that it can be taken away from you at any moment is terrifying. How will you pay your bills? How will you convince another company that you’re a hirable candidate when the last one told you to GTFO? It doesn’t matter if it’s just a matter of layoffs in a shit economy, it always feels personal, even if it is just business. And the worst part is this fear will follow you through the next job and the job after, making you clock longer hours, check email a little later, and go above and beyond just to keep a job you may not even want in the first place.
Do they ever call with good news? Whether it’s a reminder about your crapload of student loans or an “unusual spending” notice that makes you regret your recent “splurge” on plane fare to visit your folks, banks always have a way of seeming simultaneously concerned and totally judgmental. Oh yeah, and they charge you fees for EVERYTHING.
6.) Rick Ross
It’s not like I’ve ever met him before or anything, so this is not only an irrational fear but it isn’t necessarily fair either. Something about the way he grunts in songs that really freaks me out. Like I’m pretty sure the monster under my bed I used to be scared of would have look/sounded like Rick Ross.
7.) Phone Numbers You Don’t Recognize
There’s a number calling you and you don’t recognize it. Is it a telemarketer? Is it the myriad of creditors breathing down your neck? Is it a random hospital calling to tell you awful news about someone you love? Why do all of these people have your phone number?!
8.) Fear Of People Sawing A Hole In My Roof And Dropping Knives Down On Me To Kill Me While I’m Sleeping
I know that I currently live on the 1st floor so this is almost entirely unrealistic. But someone could break into my upstairs neighbor’s apartment and then go from there. So, just in case, we must sleep in a certain position so that the killer doesn’t exactly know where our body is underneath the covers. People be crazy on up in here.
9.) That Katie, From Paranormal Activity, Will Pop Out of Your Hotel Bathroom To Murder You
Thank you, manfriend, for introducing me to the mind fuck that is the Paranormal Activity series. I could handle The Conjuring, The Exorcist, Scream, Halloween, etc., but this series did a real number on me. So much so that I feared that Katie would pop out from my hotel bathroom to slaughter me, so I had the plan of grabbing the iron to smash her face in. Nevermind that she’s supernaturally faster and stronger, and thus I’m screwed. It helped me sleep at night.
10.) That I’ll Be Raped And Then Killed
Oh, on the contrary, I’m terrified. The sad thing is that this particular fear cannot be written off as irrational, because this happens all the time. So this is a major fear of mine and made me afraid of men for a long time, and it still makes me wary when I’m out when it’s dark. I want to get a taser but for now I settle for a pepper spray gun. #YesAllWomen.
11.) Being Too Noisy Might Annoy Someone And They Whip Out A Gun To Kill You
Ever since I heard about that guy who shot someone who was texting in a movie theater, I’ve been pretty damn afraid of causing a ruckus. You never know who might be out there, and your cackling laughter might cause them to lose their shit.
12.) Being Forcibly Drowned
I think part of this is that I live alone so no one could rescue me. But also that’s a wicked slow and painful way to die. I mean, hell, getting water up your nose in the swimming pool is bad enough.
13.) Crazy Salesman Coming To Your Apartment Door Late At Night
Texas chainsaw massacre, anyone? ‘Nuff said.
14.) Bug Infestations
Fleas, ticks, lice, maggots, spiders, fruit flies, gnats, weevils, ladybugs, locusts, crickets, beetles, june bugs, horse flies… you name it and I have a major phobia of them taking over my body and apartment. The flea infestation of summer 2012 definitely didn’t help this gal overcome her fear. They jump and bite and they hide in your hair, and for whatever reason I’m especially fearful of them crawling all up in my groin area. What up, anxiety???
15.) Fear Of Yourself Going Psychotic And Killing People. With Knives.
Brains are never super trustworthy and how do you know that something won’t break loose, and all of a sudden you’re going all American Psycho on everybody. So we keep tabs on all corners of the brain, just to be sure.
16.) Someone Looking Through Your Trash When It’s At The Landfill And Finding Your Address
And what do they do after they find your address? Of course they would come and rape and kill you. I mean, naturally.
17.) A Psycho Waiting For You In The Back Of Your Car
It’s all dark and creepy and my upper body strength is akin to that of a T. Rex’s upper arms. They could just reach on over the back of your seat and strangle you. AND then they could take your car and get away.
What are some of your irrational fears? Comment below or tweet us @LitDarling!