5 Reasons Chuck And Blair Shouldn’t Be #RelationshipGoals

Together, Chuck Bass and Blair Waldorf are one of the most recognizable TV couples for millennials. Throughout all six seasons of the CW show “Gossip Girl,” viewers saw their relationship hit major highs and crazy lows, saw them break up and get back together a hundred times over, and everyone generally got whiplash from watching them run toward and away from each other, depending on their mood or the situation or the day. It’s easy to mistake wanting a relationship that physically looks like Chuck and Blair’s (because really, we all want a BF like Chuck Bass) with wanting a relationship that is actually like Chuck and Blair’s.

I want a love like chuck and Blair #RelationshipGoals #gossipgirl

— Alanakai (@alanakai99m) January 18, 2015

And yet, regardless of their tumultuous relationship with each other, everyone (really) insists that “finding a love like Chuck and Blair’s” is somehow the best possible thing that could happen. The problems that Chuck and Blair face in “Gossip Girl” are honest-to-God real issues, and while they gloss over them in the TV show for the sake of “true love,” the real world doesn’t work that way. Here are five of the biggest reasons Chuck and Blair are not #RelationshipGoals.

1. They had no stability.

Was there ever a time Chuck and Blair were together for more than, I don’t know, five episodes at a time? While they could always rely on each other for a good scheme or plot, there was never that underlying, healthy foundation of knowing they could call each other for anything at any time—usually because half time time they weren’t even together. More often than not, Chuck would turn to his drink or his bad habits, and Blair would turn to Serena or Dan or Nate or whoever. But were they turning to each other? Nope.

2. They had too much drama.

Look, I get that “Gossip Girl” is, essentially, a soap opera. But if you would trade your girlfriend for a hotel, you might need to rethink your relationship. If, in order to deal with the pain of losing said girlfriend, you would put yourself in mortal danger by paying people to beat you up, you might need to rethink your relationship. If you so dislike the life you had with your girlfriend that you change your name and your life story after getting shot in Paris so as to avoid going back to it… you might need to rethink your relationship. If you have to get married hurriedly (to the tune of police sirens) because “spousal privilege” would keep Blair from having to testify that Chuck was on the rooftop from which his father fell to his death, you might need to rethink your relationship. (Also, remember that one time that Drunk Chuck shoved Pregnant Blair and then punched a glass window, giving Blair a cut on her face? Yeah… if your boyfriend does that, you might want to rethink your relationship.)

3. There was always an obstacle to overcome.

It was as if Chuck and Blair’s relationship couldn’t exist without something to battle. There’s excuse after excuse and promises that, once they overcome X or get past Y or through Z, they can be together. This is not to say that relationships won’t have issues. They will, and sometimes you’ll have to fight to keep what you have. That’s the nature of the game. But I read a story once that said that “love doesn’t have to be hard to be real, difficult to be worthwhile, sorrowful to be legendary.” If your relationship can’t exist without something to “fight for,” it might not be the best relationship, because what will you have left when you defeat all the demons?

4. They always think their issues with each other are situational.

The nature of having a stable relationship is knowing that, despite the ups and downs, you can count on the other person. But in Chuck and Blair’s case, the trials they face as a couple just pull them apart. The fact that Blair can’t trust Chuck isn’t only because he slept with Little J; it’s because she thinks Chuck isn’t trustworthy. The fact that Chuck can’t always respect Blair isn’t because just she’s constantly manipulating people; it’s because he thinks she is immature.

5. They allow grand gestures to make up for everything.

Everyone woman loves a grand gesture. But how many times does Chuck show up with macarons or peonies or jewelry to say he’s sorry for the myriad of things he’s done wrong? Blair flies to Monte-freaking-Carlo in a fancy dress to “fight for Chuck,” because he’s always fought for her. Somehow, every time, one grand gesture equals forgiveness for a bunch of really bad things. And then they just kind of go one with their lives, sweeping all the problems under the rug. It’s not healthy.

At the end of the day, it’s just not healthy to idolize two people who spend more time hating each other and coming up for excuses why they can’t be together than they do actually taking care of each other and building each other up. That’s not to say the two don’t love each other—in their own way, they do, which is why the final season ends with them married and parenting a kid. Perhaps the answer is sifting through the dramatics and pulling out the best parts of their relationship, like when they worked together to help their friends, or when Blair helped Chuck through his father’s death, but good, stable, healthy relationships don’t have to have theatrics. They just need unconditional, non-situational love—something Blair and Chuck didn’t always have.