Generally when money gets brought up, I want to crawl in an awkward hole and not emerge until the conversation has returned to things that make me less anxious—like puppies or global warming. It’s one of those things that we’ve been taught to not talk about it because generally everyone either has more or less of it than you do, and either way it makes you—and them—feel bad because of it. Unfortunately, not all conversations about money can be avoided by feigning IBS and fleeing the scene. There’s one critical moment when if you want to have any money to feel awkward about, you’re going to have to be upfront and direct about it: the salary negotiation.
The first time I had this conversation in 2009 it went a little like this:
New Boss: “The salary is $32,000.”
Me: “THANK YOU, OH GOD YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW LONG I’VE BEEN JOB HUNTING. THIS IS AMAZING. THANK YOU.”
Even now you can practically smell the post-grad desperation at the desire to have a salary, any salary. I’m still surprised I didn’t wet myself like an over-excited Springer Spaniel. As you can see, calling that a salary negotiation is like Bill Clinton saying he did not have sexual relations with that woman—it’s a technicality at best, an outright falsity at the worst. I was willing to take anything they threw at me and therefore didn’t bother to negotiate at all, which is a common first job problem. You’re going into a new world, you have a degree and probably some internships under your belt, but you’re a dime a dozen in a post-recession economy. Most of the time you don’t have much room to negotiate anything and you have to take whatever they dole out.
Your second job is hopefully a bit better. You’ve gained some experience and the stench of student debt despair has hopefully worn off a bit. This is where you need to start your training on negotiating salary in 2020. For me, I was transferring to a new role internally which basically means they don’t have to pay you as much as they would someone outside the company. I was told a range, asked what I would accept, and then told what it would be. There was about a $10K difference between my expectations and reality and this was the first time I learned the danger of salary ranges. In a really condescending tone my new boss said, “We’ll start you off at the lower end since you’re entry-level.”
Since I was moving up a substantial amount from my starter-salary, I went with it. I thought, “He must be right, I’m new to marketing, this is fair, they wouldn’t cheat me!” And then six months later a guy with less experience who was a year younger than I was started at $10K more than I was making in a lower role. Why? He negotiated.
Well, that was one lesson learned. If you don’t want to be hosed by the god damn patriarchy, learn to be as confident, charismatic, and take-no-prisoners about your salary as the upstart tall guy who got to buy a new car that year. At that point in time I also met someone who was all of those things and she taught me a very valuable lesson when it comes to salary negotiation: Always ask for at least $10,000 more than what you’re presently making to leave room for haggling.
I was boggled by this advice. How do you demand that much more when there are a hundred people behind you who would likely kill to make what you’re currently making? And the answer is it’s all in how you appear. If you come off desperate then you’re undervaluing your skills, you’re implying that the employer is doing you a favor by hiring you. You’re putting all of the power in their hands which is a terrible way to start a new relationship that’s going to dominate your entire life.
Value yourself and your skills the way the business itself values the product and skills it sells or provides. Do you want to be the off-brand bargain employee or do you want them to see you as a luxury brand? Better question, which do you want to be able to afford? We value goods that are more expensive as somehow being worth more even though the difference between that cotton t-shirt you’re wearing from J.Crew and the one you got from Target is largely just the brand tag on the neck. The same goes for how you sell yourself, if you cheapen your value, so will they.
The next time I went for a job, I tried this approach despite in fact being horrifically desperate because I’d just been laid off. I needed a job, any job, and fast. I got a call from a company I’d never heard of, for a job I wasn’t qualified for, and sat through a four-hour interview only to get a call back a week later saying, “What if instead we created this all new position for you?” They hadn’t thought through a job description or a salary for it, they just vaguely wanted me on the team which put me in the bargaining position. The company had horrific benefits that wouldn’t budge, so there wasn’t much wiggle room for me to try to get more vacation days (this is something you can bargain with if the salary can’t go up, try it) and I used it to get a higher salary. They came in with a salary that was only about $5,000 more than what I had been making, and so I asked if it was possible to go higher in light of the limited benefits. In the end I got a $10,000 raise and a work from home day. They were working to please me, not the other way around.
Another trick my crafty mentor taught me is that no job needs to know exactly what stage you are in the job hunt. If they think you might have another offer on the table, they’re likely going to start sweetening the deal so to speak. Let them know you’re talking to other companies, even if it’s only the case that you have another interview set up. Remember when Cher ordered herself flowers in Clueless so that Christian would know that other men find her desirable? It’s the exact same theory. If we think others want something or could take it away from us, we’re going to fight harder to get it. Now I am not remotely telling you to lie, because if you get caught it’s going to bite you in the ass. I’m saying be vague and commit to nothing wholeheartedly.
That said, the system of getting hired actively works against people, and companies do this deliberately. When you’re in an interview or filling out an application, you often get asked “What’s your salary range?” or “What are you hoping to make?” or even worse, “What do you make now?” These are horrible, miserable, no good, very bad questions that are designed to trap you into accepting less money and you must be prepared for them. If you answer too low, you’re stuck, they’re not going to take a demand when you get to the negotiating table for higher and it’s entirely possible you’re throwing out a figure lower than what they’ve budgeted for. And think about it, if a salesman tells you the car costs $20,000 and you saved $25,000 you’re not going to offer to pay them the difference. The same goes for your job.
The best way to combat this is to do your research. Go on Glassdoor and research the company. Oftentimes if it’s a large enough organization people have left reviews and their salary range. Find the job that is most like the title you’d be trying to get and that will give you an idea of what they’d likely be willing to pay. If you have premium LinkedIn account, you can often get a salary range for the position before you apply to it. On Indeed you can filter jobs by a salary range. It’s not always accurate but it’s at least a start. If you have absolutely no idea what a job should pay, go to Salary.com and enter in the industry, title, and your zip code and look at the bell curve of the salary range. I cannot repeat how critical it is to have this information in your pocket. For one thing it keeps you from applying to jobs that are not going to pay you what you want and secondly it prevents you from getting blindsided in the negotiation process.
But what do you do when you want to move up in salary and they ask you what you currently make? Again I tell you to be vague. They do not need to know your exact figure. I like to say “I make in the mid-X” or when they ask my salary requirements, I say “I’m looking to be in the upper-X.” This prevents them from giving you exactly a thousand dollars more than what you make now and helps you at least more easily move up within the $10,000 range you’re in now. The key though, is to make sure that anytime you give a range, you make sure you’re willing to accept the lowest figure you throw out, so make sure your low range is really the highest you need. Unless you’re top of the class from Harvard Law and walking into your six figure corporate attorney job, the rest of us plebs always get the bargain number.
I’ve been fortunate that almost every time I’ve switched jobs I’ve managed to increase my salary between 10-20%, primarily because I refuse to be undervalued. My brains, my education, my experience, and my lady-balls of steel are worth something, and I’m not working 40 hours a week for my health. It’s not easy, it makes me distinctly uncomfortable to do it, and I’m well aware that straight out of college it’s almost impossible to negotiate. But remember, your hiring process is the first step in how you’re going to be treated by your company. It’s setting the standard for whether you’ll have a mutually beneficial relationship or they’re going to use and abuse you. If you accept whatever crap they throw at you with a “Thank you sir, may I have another” that’s going to be your relationship from there on out. You’re providing a service to them (labor) and it’s up to them to pay the appropriate price for it and meet your needs. While your rent and credit card may beg to differ, they need you as much as you need them, and that’s how you get the salary you want.