5 Reasons Why Being A Non-Sexual Male Sucks

By Michael Reis

I’m a healthy, 21-year-old man with a great sense of humor and a loving circle of friends and family. I’m confident, relaxed, and calm in almost any situation, but when it comes to sex, I get uncomfortable in a hurry. I used to think that something was wrong with me, as ever since my early teen years, all any of my guy friends could talk about was sex. It still seems that way more often than not. For some reason, I’m a worshiper at the church of the vagina. I thought that I might have been gay, but I wasn’t attracted to men; thought I might have had a fetish, but couldn’t find it. It wasn’t that I didn’t have any sexual drive whatsoever, it just wasn’t on my priorities list. And here’s why this low sex drive sucks (or doesn’t, as the case may be).

Sex is Everywhere

Whether it’s being used to sell cologne over the television or the topic happens to come up in a conversation with friends, there’s absolutely no respite from sex today. Sex has escaped from the bedroom folks, and it’s coming right for us (or on us, giggity). The problem is, it goes so unnoticed by most people that we don’t even realize the ways we’re being taken advantage of. From the perspective of a non-sexual person, every one of you seems like a reproductive organ with legs, just itching to get to the next lay, and it’s disturbing on so many levels. I can’t even go to the grocery store anymore without the latest issue of Cosmo on display with the word SEX in big, bold, letters right in my face. I get it, sex is great or whatever, but does it need to be everywhere all the time? I’m a total believer in self-expression in all forms, but let’s contain the topic to some level of decency. And before this gets out of hand, I’m not referring to the clothes people wear, I’m talking about the commercials where ladies in their underwear are holding cheeseburgers to promote fast-food chains, or when men flaunt their bulges about to sell T-shirts for mall-type clothing stores. Whatever happened to commercials where someone would say “Oh, that smells lovely, what is that?” without screwing the closest living being?

People Expect Men to be Sex Maniacs

The expectations are probably the worst part about being a non-sexual person. Whether it’s from the person I’m dating, or the friend I’m having drinks with, there’s always the expectation that I have some hidden agenda that will ultimately lead me to the reward of sex. It’s hard for me to think of intercourse as a goal or a prize when it’s such a small part of what I want out of life. Dudes always want to know what other dude’s “numbers” are, or the amount of vaginas they’ve been inside; and I’m sure it’s the same regardless of gender. That sort of outspoken curiosity has become commonplace and socially acceptable. I’m not saying that it’s wrong in any way to be curious about the sex life of others, but the conversation should never pressure the other person into feeling like they have to lie about their number. And that pressure, for whatever reason, always seems to be lurking right after the question mark.

Sexual Achievements are Linked to Masculinity

“My boy became a man today,” is how we talk about a guy losing his virginity and it’s really freaking weird when you think about it. What kind of barbaric society do we have to be to put so much emphasis and ceremony around the act of having sex for the first time? It doesn’t really matter. The act of having sex for the first time doesn’t make you any different than you were previously, and yet, we don’t celebrate the “firsts” in life that actually matter. We don’t celebrate the first time a person reads a book, or the first time they develop a new talent, and those are the accomplishments which could actually lead to change and global betterment. Again, this isn’t about bashing sexuality, but the emphasis we put on what’s between our legs is disgusting and outdated. We have much better things to be concerned about.

If You Aren’t Obsessed, You’re Sick

I’m reminded of the commercials where an older man will be sitting in his recliner and a woman half his age walks into the room wearing lingerie. The man looks embarrassed, and then the announcer says, “Low sex drive? You’re suffering from low-testosterone and Blah Blah Blah can help!” Why is it so hard to believe that the poor old man just wanted to relax and watch television and not thrash around on top of some half-naked woman for half an hour? Men aren’t allowed, by society’s standards, to have interests outside of sex. If you stop getting raging boners every time you see anything that mildly represents a pair of breasts, call this helpline now! No, I’m not sick, I just would rather share memories than bodily fluids.

Objectification

When sex isn’t the first thought in your mind, it’s startling to see how much we objectify women; and how men are portrayed in media. A girl who shows too much leg is seen as a slut, if she doesn’t show enough than she doesn’t put out and deserves to be humiliated. When you don’t think sexually, you start to realize that women have to be ever vigilant to balance between being considered beautiful and being considered as a prostitute. In a game of chess, it’s always harder to defend than it is to attack, and women are being told that they have to be on the defense constantly. They’re being force-fed information about how men are simply used-dick salesmen and if they aren’t careful, they’ll be swindled into bed. Men in TV and movies are nearly always building sexual tension with whichever actress showed enough cleavage to get the role. Incoming scene where Man-Dick swipes everything off his office desk and slams Boob-Girl down to ravage her. They both should be fired, and so too should be these ridiculous tropes in media.

About Michael 

Michael is one of those dorks who loves to play chess and will quote Voltaire and Darth Vader in the same sentence with the same level of conviction. He’s easily excitable, passionately accepting, and really wishes that random passersby would let him hug them without notice or acquaintance. He’s a bit quirky, but has a serious side when it comes to politics and religion. Michael also loves to eat.