I’m So Tired of Antiquated Patriarchal Workplace Dress Codes

We have an abiding love for the right to self-expression, whatever form that might take. Millennials are taking the judgmental edge off of tattoos but what about in the professional world where I would tentatively posit that there are some antiquated beliefs still entrenched? Why haven’t dress codes evolved with the times?

I have a somewhat biased view of the business casual mantra as I’ve gotten in trouble frequently for weighting the casual side of the phrase a bit too heavily. There was a certain too-casual tank that had a giraffe on it, that ultimately unleashed the dress code demon on the research lab that I worked in. My apologies to my fellow lab mates who endured that wrath with me. I am not an expert in materials and was not aware that it was on the black list. I thought I just needed to look “put together,” and didn’t know I needed a fashion degree to reach the acceptable togetherness.

Let’s take a quick look at the “reprehensible” professional styles of Millennials:

Piercings

Maybe you’re in one of the lucky departments where nobody gives two shits regarding how many piercings (or tattoos, since those seem to get grouped in with the metal) you have. Tongue? Lips? Nose? Eyebrows? Belly button? Scandalous regions? Oh, and let’s not forget the lovely ears! Maybe I’m the only one who has this impression, but many people in the “professional” world seem to think that the location and the number of piercings we have indicate our delinquency status. I’m not allowed to wear more than, on average, three of my seven total piercings to my hospital rotations. What are they afraid is going to happen? That I’m going to scare the children and the elderly stroke patients will gasp in horror?

Denim

I am reasonably sure that denim is on the list of things that has been relegated to the unprofessional world. It’s blue, versatile, comfy, and forbidden. Even some of that nice colorful denim is forbidden because because apparently the material is just too sturdy for the confines of the office. Denim and heels! Denim and boots! Denim and flats! Denim is no longer a figment of the corn fields, so we’re just going to let it meander its fine self into the office.

Bare Legs

Cover your eyes innocent children! A foot of a lady’s uncovered leg is showing and you just can’t handle the heat! What is the point of nude colored hose? Or really any colored hose, but the nude color just happens to be the most baffling. As one of my dear tweeps (@wiredifferent) pointed out: “It is supposed to match your skin tone so as to be nearly imperceptible. So it is not the appearance of flesh but actual exposed flesh that is the issue at hand. And as hands, arms, other skin is exposed so it’s not the skin, but the legs under a skirt or dress… with the implication that there is nothing to hinder access to the lady parts but for the flip of a skirt if there is no hosiery.”

Allow me to be the practical one that points out that, for the very determined, some flimsy hosiery is not going to be much of a barrier. But, what it is a barrier to is when you need to make a quick dash to the bathroom and almost die because you can’t get down your tights fast enough. Or when you’re doing a presentation and can feel the crotch slowly sagging and pretty soon you’re walking like a penguin because the elastic is around your knees. Needless to say, I strongly feel that hosiery is an antiquated device of the patriarchy to belittle women. Perhaps we shall burn our hosiery in protest (but not talking about those sexy fishnet stockings because those are in a whole other class of their own).

I want to make it very clear that I’m not saying we should do away with professionalism altogether! Skirts still should not be ridiculously short, and men’s pants don’t need to be hanging around somewhere below their bums with boxers showing. But I do think professional dress codes are subjectively informed by an individual that is unwilling to allow their employees/students/interns to look different from each other. My wearing dark lipstick or dyeing my hair will not offend anyone—it’s merely a mild expression of myself. The concept that people with facial piercings are less intelligent or untrustworthy is an absurd societal construct that is simply not true. Tattoos do not a crook make. The panty hose regime is delusional if they think that the flimsy fabric is hiding or preventing anything.

Millennials are entirely capable of being professional in appearance, demeanor, and intelligence. But the dress code police need to catch up with the times! Let our vast capabilities in the job setting speak for themselves—in the end, it’s the only thing that matters. Stay uniquely fashionable darlings.

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Kelsey
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Kelsey

Kelsey is 6' tall, 25 years old, and a Registered Dietitian in Baltimore, MD. She drives too fast, listens to music far too loudly, wears very bright lipstick, and snags any opportunity to wear her cowboy boots. Kelsey is a perpetually almost-broke #beautynerd, bookworm, and owner of far too much nail polish. She loves deeply, lives enthusiastically, occasionally drinks too much, and is one of the most loyal people you'll ever meet.
Oh, and how could she forget? She has three cats which she loves to bits and pieces.
Kelsey
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