10 Thoughts We Had While Stalking the Met Gala Red Carpet

It was the First Monday in May, and Ella and Grace were New Yorkers, so naturally they spent the afternoon stalking the Met Gala Red Carpet. Mistake number one: They both wore flats. Despite their train unexpectedly making its final stop in Midtown, and a cab driver who repeatedly asked why there was so much traffic near the Met, they made it. These are their thoughts from behind the barricade.

1. Driving up Madison Avenue in a sea of town cars.

   “It could be someone. Or it could be no one.”

   “Those are the two options.”

   “Unless it’s an alien.”

2. Obscure unidentified rapper strolls in.

   “He looks familiar.”

   “He’s definitely someone. They’re screaming.”

   “Should we ask?”

   “I don’t want to be judged.”

3. “Why did I not wear heels?!”

4. Who knew Matt Lauer was so short?

   “Hi Matt!”

   “Hi guys.”

5. “Who wears a jean jacket to the Met Gala?”

   Answer: Paparazzi.

6. 7:45 pm: someone finally shows up with a smile on their face.

   “Anna Kendrick just waved at me!”

7. Whoops, sorry Bryce Dallas Howard. Guess your invitation got lost in the mail.

   “Is that Jessica Chastain or the other one?” (Side note: definitely Chastain.)

8. The queen has arrived. As has her stalker.

   “It’s Beyoncé!”

   “Are you sure?’

   “He knows her license plate number.”

9. Remember when Kris Jenner wanted everyone to work on their communication skills?

   “I think that was Kim. I saw a woman on her phone.”

10. Always go out on a high note.

    “Is that Drake?!”

    “They said it’s Zayn.”

    “Oh. I don’t care anymore.”

As they walked to Chipotle, dodging fire trucks and puddles, they made a pact to never retire until they’ve made it to the other side.