Once upon a time, I was bold. I was proud and confident and bad ass. And then, of course, someone came along. He told me he loved me, and I believed him. Then he slowly tried to control me. Suddenly, I was less than. I was scared to accept myself. I was scared to accept my loud laugh or my tapletop dancing or how sometimes I just wanted to let loose and be happy. I made myself be smaller because I wanted to fit by him and in his narrative. Eventually, that wasn’t enough for him and suddenly…
I was free?
Being alone was terrifying. Losing the main crutch I had, the person who had supported me for eight years, was daunting. But I was finally free.
I made a promise to myself that I would embrace who I was and what made me happy. I would be bold and brash and unapologetically so. Before, I was someone’s complement and now I could live for myself. For me, being bold and brash means I can reclaim my body and what I want. It restores my agency.
Yes, a big part of reclaiming my body is having a lot of fun sex, but it’s also more than that. It’s owning my status as a social justice warrior. I can boldly speak my ideas– loudly and proudly– without caring about judgement.
I cannot wait to share my journey with you, but before we get into my adventures, it’s important to understand some rules:
- Being bold and brash is not a license to hurt someone. I repeat, you must respect other people. No exceptions.
- You must feel safe. Yes, you should push your boundaries, but you also need to accept and embrace your limits. They are real and valid.
- You must be honest with yourself. The whole point of being #boldandbrash is to do what you want and focus on your happiness. Lying to yourself defeats that purpose. Embrace whatever it is that makes you happy.
- Know your #boldandbrash. Own whatever it is. It might not be anything sexual– it could be doing something spontaneous or wearing a pair of leather pants or a backless bodysuit. It’s all about you.
- Take a deep breath. Have fun.