5 All Too Real Titles for Your College Memoir

1. Fuck You Guys, I’m Walking Home: A Tale of Sidewalks Traveled

Readers will be hooked from start finish as you regal them with the tales of all the times your friends ditched you at a party, or you got fed up with their antics. The early chapters are, arguably, the strongest, as the narrator overcomes the struggle of not having a car on campus for freshman year. Though the later chapters hold an intrigue; despite having transportation at last, our young hero still routinely finds themselves walking the McDonald’s drive-thru at 2 a.m. A tale of heartbreak, frustration, and blood blisters, audiences will surely be transfixed.

 

2. 50 Shades of Done: A Collection of Essays by the Millennial Generation

EXCERPT:

“I couldn’t,” she gasped, drawing her hand slowly to her mouth. As their eyes made contact, a small voice in the back of her mind whispered, “You could.” She began to turn away slowly, but her entire body cried out for her to stop, to turn back and throw herself onto the bed with no inhibitions. 

“Take a chance. You’re only young once,” the voice whispered. 

With a great swelling of excitement mixed with a little shame, she knew she was giving in. She nodded her head in consent.

“I guess I can write that paper tomorrow, it’ll be fine,” she said to her roommate, reaching for the Wii remote. A cool red light filled the room as the Netflix logo eased gently onto the screen. She felt her whole body relax as the tension left her limbs. 

“You know you want this,” the voice in her mind told her. It was right. She did. 

 

3. Can I Write This In Courier? And Other Life Questions

This memoir takes everything we hold to be normal and turns them on their heads. Why settle? Why accept? Always challenge. Why does everything have to be in Times New Roman 12? Who decided this? Will my professor really notice if it’s Times New Roman 12.5? And why would Word let you change your indent sizes if you weren’t meant to be creative? Does an annotated bibliography really have to be annotated? And isn’t APA style more of a kind suggestion?

Follow the narrator as they ask these daring and daunting questions, but be prepared: you might not be ready for the ending.

 

4. Is This Fair-Trade?

Armed with compassion, an awareness of the global market, and years of having her mom shop at Whole Foods, the naive young narrator attempts to navigate the world of grocery stores. Armed only with her meager wage from the campus bookstore, she learns difficult lessons about life, lemons, and the over-inflated price of Chobani Greek Yogurts.

 

5. #BLEEDINGHEARTSLIBERALARTS

John and Pam didn’t know what they had done wrong. They’d read all the parenting books, gone to mommy and me classes. They put Nick through the best preschool, the best schools they could find. They always ate dinner together. At a table. They tried to instill in him a love of Jesus and fiscal conservatism. What could have gone so wrong? Sometimes at night John sat in his Pottery Barn deep chocolate leather recliner, and traced back his steps. He knew what had gone wrong. Instead of sending Nick off to his alma mater, he let him forge his own way. Right into that bleeding heart, liberal art institution they dared to call a place of higher learning.

Follow Nick, John and Pam as they navigate the trials of awkward family gatherings, racist grandparents, arguments over Fox News and so much more. Like Nick, the reader comes to understand that everything isn’t about whose politics are better. Sometimes with family, all that really matters is who can shout the loudest.

Hope Racine
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Hope Racine

Associate Editor at Literally, Darling
Hope is a freelance writer and editor who makes her living writing things about Jane Austen and editing things about taxes. She has an unhealthy relationship with George Washington. Hope is currently working toward her life goal of being on Jeopardy! and owning all the dogs.
Hope Racine
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  • RamblesByTay

    Oh my God, these are perfect. I got a good laugh out of them.