According to many fairytale love stories, romantic comedy film plots, and general societal norms, proposals and engagements are supposed to be a big SURPRISE. One of the partners typically plans some kind of elaborate gesture or special date for when they will pop the big question, at which point the apple of their eye should clasp their face with their hands, tear up, fan themselves with adorable embarrassment, and hopefully squeak out an emphatic “yes!” once they catch their breath.
This classic but overplayed scenario, however, comes with the inherent risk of the proposer having their heart broken with a “no,” or with the proposee feeling pressured to say yes when they perhaps aren’t ready. Why anyone would go out on a limb to propose marriage without knowing 100% that their other half would be thrilled at the idea seems crazy, right? These days, there really isn’t any excuse for not being in an open, communicative relationship where both parties know exactly where they stand. Which might explain why mutual engagements are becoming increasingly more normal.
Talk To Your Partner About Marriage
It seems obvious, but many people are hesitant to bring up the subject of long-term commitment with their partners, for fear of scaring them away. But honestly, if marriage is something you want for your future, and your partner has NO intentions of ever living that married life, wouldn’t you want to know ASAP? You can so easily bring up the topic of nuptials with your love without it being scary. If you haven’t had any conversation of this kind with them before, start off by simply asking, “Do you see yourself getting married in the future?” This is a great way to open up a conversation about what you both see yourselves doing with your lives, and if your visions are compatible. Hopefully, the answer is yes, and you can then start discussing your hopes for your plans together.
Set A Timeline For Yourselves
This part may sound the weirdest, but you can actually have a lot of fun planning a mutual engagement. Once you and your partner have both established that “Yes, you’re someone I see myself hanging out with for the rest of my days,” congrats! That’s basically the biggest part of an engagement, and the rest is just formality. Depending on various life situations or milestones coming up, you may have reasons for wanting to wait to get officially engaged. But if there’s nothing standing in your way, why not set a goal for yourselves? Once you get that certain amount of money saved up for the rings, your sibling’s wedding is out of the way, or you finish your dissertation…whatever that hurtle may be, allow yourselves to plan it and look forward to it.
Shop For Rings Together
THE RINGS. This can be a huge source of stress for a lot of couples. Some people are afraid their partner will pick a ring that isn’t to their taste, and others are worried their partner won’t think the ring they chose is “good enough.” Well, why not throw those anxieties out the window and just pick them out together? Establish your budget, learn each other’s jewelry styles, have your ring fingers professionally sized at a jewelry store, and go from there! Some people may have always dreamed of the classic look of diamond engagement rings, while others might lean more towards an untraditional gem, or bespoke handmade jewelry that will be unlike any other. Even if you’d like the ring itself to be a surprise, sitting down with your partner and doing some online ring browsing or Pinterest searching can be a great way to give them the best ideas of exactly what you’re hoping for.
…And it really is as simple as that! Enjoy your mutual engagement experience, and let it be the beginning of you and your partner showing each other what beautiful teamwork you can achieve together.
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