Sexual interaction is an important part of every healthy relationship. It’s a way of connecting with your partner in a way that is different from a social exchange, yet equally crucial for your functioning as a happy couple. Of course, both of you are aiming for sexual satisfaction, but this exchange doesn’t always fulfill the needs and expectations of both partners.
However, just because you’ve come across an issue doesn’t mean you can’t have a pleasurable sex life. In fact, all it takes is just a few tweaks and adjustments to elevate your sexual experience and make sex more satisfying for both of you.
Ditch unrealistic expectations
When it comes to sex, many of us have preconceived notions about what it should look like. Oftentimes, our ideas of what we can expect between the sheets and from our partner are distorted, and media plays a partial role in our formation of the opinion about relationships and sex. More often than not, those expectations are unrealistic, often based on misrepresented portrayals in erotic films and books. Not only do they affect the way we feel about our sexual performance, but they can also impact our body image and self-esteem. To avoid this, be sure to communicate your sexual desires and turn-ons, and instead of doing what you think your partner might want, you can simply ask them about it.
Talk about your needs with your partner
Communication is key to healthy relationships, but when it comes to our sexual desires and interests, many of us don’t feel comfortable sharing them with their partner. That being said, we can’t simply expect our significant other to know exactly what we want in bed. Sex shouldn’t be a taboo in relationships and it surely shouldn’t require any mind-reading. Therefore, sit down with your partner and have a talk about your turn-ons. If you’re not entirely sure about what it is that you like, try to engage in some solo-exploration first, or read a book like The Master Key from like The Pleasure Keys to help get a better handle on what that even looks like. You should be familiar with your erogenous zones and feel okay talking about them. And in case you’d rather show than tell, you can always guide your partner and let them know what you like without really talking about it.
Try something out of the ordinary
Routines can be great – we’ve got our morning routines, exercise routines, beauty routines…you get the point. We know all the steps because we’re repeating them constantly, which makes the process more efficient and less time-consuming. While having a sex routine isn’t necessarily a bad thing, trying something out of the ordinary can make sex even better. This could mean changing up your usual positions or even trying some interesting sex toys to spruce things up a bit and make those big-Os even more pleasurable. For example, a clit vibrator. Doing so is sure to help heat things up in the bedroom (or wherever you feel like doing it). And if you feel like experimenting a bit more, you can always talk to your partner about role-playing and give it a shot if they’re up for it.
Follow a healthy diet
Physical and emotional health are closely connected to our sex drive. When we’re in good health, our libidos perk up, so it’s not a stretch to say that you need to pay closer attention to what you eat if you want to give a boost to your sex life. Incorporate more amino acids such as L-arginine and Carnitine to help boost your blood flow, and rely on foods with aphrodisiac properties (such as oysters) to raise your hormone levels and increase sexual desire. While limiting alcohol consumption is recommended, a glass of red wine every once in a while can’t hurt. In fact, it can help put you in the mood and even improve lubrication and sex drive in women.
Make the exchange rewarding for both of you
When engaging in intimate interactions, it’s understandable that you want things to be fair – just like in any other exchange. No one wants to get too little, but getting too much isn’t fair either, and it certainly affects sexual satisfaction. After you’ve talked to your partner, figured out what both of you want, and adjusted your expectations so that they’re realistic, check to see whether you’re getting too much or too little from your sexual interactions. Once you’ve made sure that the exchange is rewarding for both partners, you can rest assured knowing that both sides are fully satisfied.
According to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG), around three in four women experience pain during sex. The pain is temporary for some women, but for others, it’s a chronic problem. Painful sex (dyspareunia) is a sensitive topic for many women, so it’s not often talked about. However, many are opening up about their condition and getting help for it.
Pain during intercourse can be caused by a medical condition, such as ovarian cysts, endometriosis, vaginismus, and physical trauma after childbirth. It’s extremely important for women to talk to a health-care provider if they often experience pain during sex.
The good news is that there are noninvasive treatments and therapies that can help eliminate pain during intercourse. For women who experience pain during sex due to vaginismus and scarring after childbirth or surgery, dilation therapy with use of vaginal trainer or dilator helps restore the vaginal opening and strengthen pelvic muscles to improve the body’s and brain’s tolerance during sex.
Keeping things fun and interesting between the sheets is what makes the overall relationship more enjoyable and satisfying. Even if you’re not completely satisfied with the dynamics in the bedroom, there are always ways to revitalize your love life, and the five tips above are a great starting point of your journey towards a more pleasurable sex life.
