I got a cat before I had a couch in my apartment. It was an accident I swear—I only went to the Austin Animal Center to check things out, but it was love at first sight and Shiloh came home with me the next day. I’ve had her for about 8 months now, and have come to realize I should just expect to never be effective again. Here is how Shiloh has methodically ruined any shred of productivity I had:
1. She looks like this and I cannot say no to her fuzzy little face.
This is the root of all my problems, I understand, but seriously, just look at her!!! She also spends a lot of time upside down to showcase her fluffiness in full glory and provoke me into giving belly rubs.
2. My cat does not promote healthy eating and exercise habits.
Yes, I just compared my health to that of a cat. But, she eats whenever she wants, sleeps all day, and is still in perfect shape. Also, if I try to do workouts or crunches in my apartment, she sees it as an invitation to lay on me or otherwise foil my attempts at exercise.
3. My cat has a strict interaction schedule that has turned me into a zombie.
Shiloh has recently decided to start waking me up at 6:30 to get fed, which is exactly one hour before my alarm goes off. This is enough time for me to either stay in bed grumpy and hating life OR fall back asleep but inadvertently snooze my alarm, finally jolting out of bed with about negative 5 minutes to get ready for work. She has also decided that 6 to 8pm is Erin and Shiloh nap time, which means missing prime workout time (see #1) and messing up my sleep schedule so I go to bed at 2am. But if I go to bed at 2 and get woken up at 6, then I am more susceptible to naps once I get home. It’s a vicious cycle.
4. Increased, irresistible nap time.
Recently, my dad invited me to be his date to a fancy awards dinner. He stressed over and over again that I should meet at their house at 6:45pm, which I confirmed with him at 6pm. At 6:15pm, my warm, fluffy kitty hopped up on my bed and lay down next to me, which I thought was fine since I wasn’t even tired. Next thing I know, I wake up at 7:15, race to the dinner, and the first thing my dad says to me is, “This is somehow Shiloh’s fault, isn’t it?” Fuzzy kitty syndrome is a serious affliction. To make matters worse, she does not take no for an answer: I have learned that there is no position in which Shiloh is unable to maneuver a way to sleep on me and, like all cats, she gains about 20 pounds as soon as you try to pick her up to move her.
5. Playing with my cat is way more entertaining than being productive.
I used to think it was cute how cats could chase a piece of string forever and be endlessly amused. Now I realize it is kind of sad that I can be endlessly amused by dragging a piece of string so my cat can chase it. But the pouncing is so much more adorable than spreadsheets! Well, unless they have pivot tables…
7. My cat does not approve of me using my hands for my own selfish activities.
Reading? No. Typing on a computer? Definitely not. Petting? Probably. For use as her personal pillow? Yes, thanks. It’s to the point that if I pet her and then try to do something else, she will gently paw my hand back to its rightful position to serve her.
In spite of my indentured servitude, a long day is immediately made better whenever I walk in through the door and Shiloh is there to meow a cheerful greeting. She is my nonjudgemental company during Netflix binge and always snuggles me to sleep at night. I love her to pieces and she makes my crappy little apartment a home.
How have your darling pets changed your life? Tweet us pictures @litdarling! For more of Shiloh, check out #floofwednesday on Instagram.
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