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Stop It With The Gay Husband Stuff

Stop It With The Gay Husband Stuff

Dear “white girls” of the world,

This letter has nothing to do with race, but how we as twenty-something young women are perceived by the media. Let me preface this by saying I’m totally one of you. I wear too much makeup, I really love One Direction, and I, too, was obsessed with “The Hills” and “Laguna Beach” in high school. But, there’s one thing y’all need to stop with: the epidemic of the “gay husband.”

As a straight person who works as an ally in the LGBT community, I know that this isn’t my place to say anything, but I feel like maybe you’ll all realize that this is coming from a place of love and understanding. Contrary to popular belief, gay or queer men are not around solely for your entertainment. I understand the whole phenomenon behind the token gay friend on reality TV; shows like “Keeping Up With The Kardashians” and “The Girls Next Door” glorify this idea that every fashionable woman needs a “gay husband” like she needs the next designer handbag.

I know, I know, you’re thinking, “Hey…lady, I don’t mean any harm. I’m not homophobic.” And trust me, I totally get it. I would totally marry some of my male friends who just so happen to be gay, but I don’t befriend them simply for the novelty of being gay. To simply want someone around to make a character out of them is unfair and at the most extreme dehumanizes them.

Despite what the media may think about you, ladies, I know that you’re intelligent, compassionate beings and I know that you don’t mean to hurt anyone. It’s a touchy subject, but all I want is respect for everyone.

The next time you call someone your “gay husband” or whine about how you want a gay friend, think about the people that you’re affecting and cherish them for something in your friendship that doesn’t have to do with their sexuality.

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Photo by nettsu

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Kristin is terrible at bios. Born in a log cabin in 1776...or actually a suburb outside Pittsburgh in 1993 and a product of a big Jersey family, she's been a loud, spunky lady since birth (much to the dismay of anyone she can get to listen). Kristin can currently be found in Cleveland Ohio, working as marketing extraordinaire and moonlighting as a Broadway fangirl and wannabe love guru. From an obsession with Rob Lowe, pugs, hedgehogs and chai tea, she can always find something to talk to you about.

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  • Thank you for this commentary. I’m married, we have 8 kids, 15 gkids and 5 ggkids. I have several friends whom I consider close friends. What I don’t consider them is as occupants of a specific role to be played in my life, I value them for who they are. The role a friend plays in one’s life should be to create synergy in the friendship. You hit that principle right on the head; to value a person for a role or an appearance they can play is to demean them and when one acts in such a manner, they diminish themselves as well. Drive on Kristin

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