NEWS: Thanks For Ruining Weddings Forever, Grammys

A study released last week showed that those who watched no news were more informed than Fox and MSNBC viewers. What the study didn’t mention is that, statistically speaking, readers of Literally, Darling’s weekly news posts have an impeccable grasp of world events, as well as better eyebrows.

Thirty-three couples married at the Grammys. The mass ceremony was performed by Queen Latifah during Macklemore and Ryan Lewis’ “Same Love”. In other words, 33 couples can now say Beyonce and Jay-Z were guests at their wedding.

Protests in Ukraine take a violent turn. Peaceful demonstrations became violent in Ukraine, as unrest spread outside of the capital of Kiev. As images of burning cars and destruction spread, the government lifted bans on public protest.

Davos economic summit brings world leaders together. They came, they saw, they discussed global economics. Leaders from around the globe met in Davos, Switzerland, for the World Economic Forum’s annual summit. Topics included Africa, BRIC nations, and Ethical Capitalism.

Texas Senator Wendy Davis has been under fire as inaccuracies in her biography have come to light. Most notably, it was revealed that her ex-husband financed at least part of her Harvard education and took primary custody of their daughter. Male politicians have taken to calling Davis a “gold digger” but a female member of the GOP, Becky Haskins, defended Davis and claimed that the senator would not be on the receiving end of such name calling if she were man.

Peace talks continue between Syrian government and opposition. Negotiations between the Assad government and exiled opposition leaders reportedly made progress on the question of humanitarian aid. However, talks were ended for the day Tuesday after stalling over the matter of transfer of power.

US considering targeted drone strikes in CAR. Secretary Kerry told press about the possibility of carrying out limited strikes in the embattled African nation as fighting continues, with concerns rising about sectarian violence.

Rick Perry supports marijuana decriminalization. The Texas governor came out in support of lessening punishments for marijuana possession. The support is in keeping with a shift in public policy towards decriminalization and legalization of recreational use. 420 blaze it, America.

Cannibal rat-infested ghost ship. No, this is not the title for a new Syfy movie. Apparently, an abandoned ship may be heading toward the British Isles and it may or may not have cannibalistic rats aboard, which caused a furor in British news and on Twitter.

Shooting at Maryland mall leaves two dead. On Saturday, 19-year-old Darion Aguilar fired nine shots in a Columbia, Md., mall, killing two Zumiez employees and then himself. His motives are still unclear. An investigation is ongoing. The mall reopened for business on Monday.

New Farm Bill to cut $8 billion from SNAP. The bill, which keeps intact most farm subsidies, will impact about 800,000 recipients of food stamps over the next 10 years.

Obama has plan for $10.10 minimum wage for federal contractors. Although that would only apply to a very few workers at first, White House officials are saying the increased wage could be expanded with cooperation from Congress. If Congress doesn’t approve, Obama is also ready to use his executive authority this time around.

Three years after “Arab Spring,” Tunisia has a new constitution. After two years of drafting, the National Constituent Assembly of Tunisia passed a new democratic constitution by an overwhelming 200 of 216 votes. The democratizing experiment in Tunisia is largely the work of Islamists and secularists coming together and negotiating reforms. While the constitution recognizes the country’s Islamic heritage and names Islam the state religion, it also allows for civil freedoms of religion and acknowledges equality between men and women.

Presidential breakups, French style. Hapless cartoon character President Hollande announced a mutual split from his long-time partner Valerie Trierweiler this week, following allegations of Hollande having an affair.

Musician and activist Pete Seeger passes away. The prolific singer-songwriter was involved in mass protest movements beginning in the 1960s, and he remained active through work with groups like Occupy Wall Street into his 90s.

Mexico sanctions vigilante justice. The militia groups have been taking control of towns previously held by drug cartels. The Mexican government plans to bring these groups into the wider fight against the influential cartels by bringing them into the Rural Defense Corps.