Last year was the first year I spent Valentine’s Day single. Yes, I realize there are a ton of people out there who have never had someone to call their own on this very day or at all; therefore no, this is not an invitation to a personal pity-party. But as my two-year anniversary for what some may consider “single-awareness” day arises, I have actually figured out a way to celebrate this coming occasion. This form of celebration is something I should have embraced a very long time ago, but with Valentine’s Day approaching, it has become particularly relevant.
Last year, my first single Valentine’s Day was spent single-handedly singling myself out, sulking over a Five Guys burger and Cold Stone ice cream. I spent the entire day hoping to never cross paths with couples and kept my fingers tightly crossed wishing and hoping I wouldn’t have to deal with anything or anyone in a romantic state of mind. My Valentines consisted of me, myself, and I, and I was so busy being hung-up over the people, places, and things that I thought had gone wrong. But the heart of the matter is the disheartening reality that I’ve even allowed myself to feel this way.
So instead of moping around and rolling my eyes at anything in the love department on Valentine’s Day—and quite frankly, on any other day of the year—I am going to give myself my own valentine, the gift of forgiveness.
It’s time to forgive the people in our past and let them stay there. It’s time to forgive mistakes, and stop keeping track of who did what. It’s time to forgive the things we cannot change: the fights and personality clashes we cannot control, the animosity and grudges we’ve held onto, the harsh truth that always comes out and makes us feel vulnerable. And most importantly the things that just didn’t work out.
The saying goes, “forgive and forget.” I have been so fixated on never forgetting everything that went wrong that I didn’t remember to forgive.
I am one who is too quick to say sorry, and yet I cannot reciprocate the other side of the equation. So from now on, and especially on Valentine’s Day, I am going to put the sulking parade aside and forgive the things that were too hurtful to face.
It’s not easy to do so, which is maybe why it is so difficult to let go. But it may be possible that we’ll never truly know what it feels like to have the right somebody to celebrate Valentine’s Day with if we are too caught up holding onto past wrongs. Because by doing so, we may have just RSVP’d a spot in single-awareness day for the rest of our days.
If your heart has been broken, guess what? You’re not the only one. I am not trying to minimize your feelings or lessen their significance in any means. But it would seem that ironically enough, a broken heart would leave you feeling alone, when actually it leaves you anything but alone, because you are certainly not the only one who has ever felt that way.
So this Valentines Day, forgive your past and forget about loneliness. Because we single girls and guys?
We are anything but single.
We have our hopes, our dreams, and ourselves for the rest of our lives.
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