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20 Book Titles Rewritten For The Internet

20 Book Titles Rewritten For The Internet

book titles rewritten

As a writer on the Internet, trying to title your work so that it will be easily found by Google, fully SEO-optimized, and instantly catch your attention in the 10 seconds people scan headlines is like drowning your soul in a vat of burning oil. Where in print you would name your article about commitment phobia something gloriously abstract like, “One Day I’ll Fly Away,” if you want it to be found, it has to be changed to “Twenty-Something with Commitment Phobia Hates Her Job.” It’s definitely the literal interpretation, but it takes a little bit of the art out of writing.

With that in mind, I thought about how the face of literature would change if popular books titles were rewritten for the Internet. The results are not pretty, though it would make book browsing infinitely easier….

Self-Loathing Architect Hates Society

 

Insecure Teen Has Vampiric Sexual Fantasies

 

Loathsome Self-Involved Rich People Partying in the 1920s

 

Industrial Revolution Ruins Life of Orphan

 

Nosey Wizard Boy Can’t Die, Causes Mischief

 

Russian Pedophile Sexually Obsessed With Tween

 

Hobo Greek Man Rants About Life

 

Narcissist Acquires Magic Painting

 

Ruling People Through Fear (And Maybe Not Dying)

 

Gay Victorian Detective Duo Play Cops And Robbers in London

 

Angsty Teen Couple Kills Themselves For No Reason

 

You’re Fucked if You Do, You’re Fucked if You Don’t

 

Vikings Get Shit Done

 

Sulky Man and Sassy Woman Bicker Excessively

See Also

 

Shipwrecked Kid Hallucinating

 

Delusional Teen Swears A Lot  in Manhattan

 

Cock-blocked Rabbits Freak Out and Seek Mates

 

The War of the Roses with Dragons and Zombies

 

Your Brain on Drugs

 

Barnyard Communism

 

Teen Girl Gets PTSD from Gladiator Games in Dystopian Society

Katie

Editor-in-Chief & Founder at Literally, Darling
Katie hails from Northern Virginia and spends her spare time blaring Led Zeppelin and trying to bake her way on to the Great British Bake Off one Victoria Sponge at a time. Her life largely consists of arguing with her dogs, running away from home to meander around the UK, and drinking her weight in tea. Occasionally she even makes time to write and edit for a living, but only when forced.
Katie
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