I’ll admit it—opera can be a little unnerving at times, especially when you’re thrown into a show and have no idea what to expect, which probably leads to most of you disliking the opera. And thinking it’s for elitist or old (or both) people.
But, if you just think about it, it’s everything you’re missing in life:
- Forget Urban Renewal. It’s as vintage as you can get. Seriously, bro, it comes from, like, the 1600s.
- You’ll be starting a new fad among your friends, where you can start teaching them about something new. That automatically gives you more brownie points (and makes you more interesting).
Note the microphone. Microphones are a no-no in opera. - It’s not mainstream. It’s almost anti-mainstream, with a declining audience.
- You can start correcting people when they say they love opera and sing Andrea Bocelli and “Phantom of the Opera” (both of which, by the way, are not opera).
- You’ll be learning a new language (probably Italian or German), so you can say you’re bilingual. Kind of.
- It’s like “Devious Maids,” but better. There’s dancing, romance, sex, nip-slips, topless hot men, Oedipus complexes, multiple deaths, weddings—all happening between your champagne and smoked salmon platter breaks.
Don’t forget to keep the pinky up, darlings. - And finally, it’s a way to bond with your grandparents—or anyone older than 65. You never know when that will come in handy.
But even if you aren’t learning Italian, don’t drink champagne, and Erwin Schrott doesn’t take off his shirt, opera is a beautiful art form and, when done right, is truly awesome.
Woot. I just got a job at the opera, and I support this post!