You just got out of a bad or boring situation and it’s time to start something new. You’re searching for The One—or at least something for now to help you get by. You use the most common technology to search at all hours. The hunt is exhausting but you have to keep trying because you know it’s out there, somewhere… Sound familiar? All too many millennials can relate to the agonizing process of the job search—and of dating on Tinder. Upon analysis, I found that there were actually a lot of similarities between the two, and the differences can be pretty telling.
INITIAL INTEREST:
JOB: Your interest in a company is based on extensive research on what they do and what company culture is like.
TINDER: Your initial interest is determined by multiple seconds of looking at pictures on your phone screen, and maybe reading some stuff if you feel like getting deep.
APPLICATION PROCESS:
JOB: You apply for jobs at a location like a coffeeshop or at your desk, where you can focus and put forth the required effort and concentration to fully express who you are, individually, as a person.
TINDER: You swipe all day, err’day—at bars, during lunch, at red lights. Sometimes you hand your phone off so your friends can play. You can literally like or reject people one-handed.
EFFORT PUT INTO YOUR APPLICATION:
JOB: You spend a great deal of time on your writing so that you come off as professional and engaged.
TINDER: You spend a great deal of time on your writing and photos to strike the balance between innocent/sexy/slutty and serious/fun/crazy.
GRAMMAR:
JOB: It is essential for all communication to be free of grammatical errors in order to be seriously considered for the position.
TINDER: It is essential for all communication to be free of grammatical errors in order to be seriously considered for a position in my pants.
DESPERATION SINKS IN:
JOB: As you grow more desperate, you increase your search radius to include other cities.
TINDER: As you grow more desperate, you increase the search radius… but at the height of desperation, it is 2 am at a bar and you are searching within 1 mile.
RESEARCH PRIOR TO FIRST MEETING:
JOB: Includes extensive research on Google News, LinkedIn, Glassdoor, and other websites.
TINDER: Includes extensive research on Google, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and sex offender registries.
OUTFIT FOR FIRST MEETING:
JOB: Comparatively, a fairly easy process. Everyone knows you should wear a suit.
TINDER: Stress potential is high. If I wear sandals, do I come across as too casual? Is this scarf too hipster? Above all, don’t wear a suit or you’ll look like a tool.
FIRST DATE:
JOB: You’re nervous and sweaty, it’s probably going to be a little awkward.
TINDER: You’re nervous and sweaty, and it’s probably going to be a little awkward, but at least there is the sweet, sweet social lubrication of alcohol.
CONVERSATION:
JOB: You use phrases you rehearsed and have said many times before to sound confident and accomplished.
TINDER: You use phrases you have said many times before to sound confident and accomplished, until you are forced to start talking about random shit to avoid the inevitable awkward silence that comes from spending 60+ minutes with someone you have never met before.
PAY:
JOB: The subject of pay is awkward but indicative of interest.
TINDER: The subject of who pays is awkward but indicative of interest.
AFTER MEETING:
JOB: Sometimes you get far into the process before discovering the company just isn’t the right fit for you.
TINDER: Sometimes you get far into the process before discovering certain things do not fit in a pleasurable way.
SUCCESS!:
JOB: After you make your decision, you have to tell other companies you’ve been interviewing with that you are no longer interested.
TINDER: After you’ve committed, you have to tell everyone else you can’t see them anymore. Except maybe that one that was super hot. You know, just in case.