On Living a Bold and Brash Life

Once upon a time, I was bold. I was proud and confident and bad ass. And then, of course, someone came along. He told me he loved me, and I believed him. Then he slowly tried to control me. Suddenly, I was less than. I was scared to accept myself. I was scared to accept my loud laugh or my tapletop dancing or how sometimes I just wanted to let loose and be happy. I made myself be smaller because I wanted to fit by him and in his narrative. Eventually, that wasn’t enough for him and suddenly…

I was free?

Being alone was terrifying. Losing the main crutch I had, the person who had supported me for eight years, was daunting. But I was finally free.

I made a promise to myself that I would embrace who I was and what made me happy. I would be bold and brash and unapologetically so. Before, I was someone’s complement and now I could live for myself. For me, being bold and brash means I can reclaim my body and what I want. It restores my agency.

Yes, a big part of reclaiming my body is having a lot of fun sex, but it’s also more than that. It’s owning my status as a social justice warrior. I can boldly speak my ideas– loudly and proudly– without caring about judgement.

See Also

How To Spot An Emotionally Abusive Relationship

I cannot wait to share my journey with you, but before we get into my adventures, it’s important to understand some rules:

1. Being bold and brash is not a license to hurt someone. I repeat, you must respect other people. No exceptions.
2. You must feel safe. Yes, you should push your boundaries, but you also need to accept and embrace your limits. They are real and valid.
3. You must be honest with yourself. The whole point of being #boldandbrash is to do what you want and focus on your happiness. Lying to yourself defeats that purpose. Embrace whatever it is that makes you happy.
4. Know your #boldandbrash. Own whatever it is. It might not be anything sexual– it could be doing something spontaneous or wearing a pair of leather pants or a backless bodysuit. It’s all about you.
5. Take a deep breath. Have fun.

Alessgo.