For the first time since junior high, I have become the member of a pool. It’s a strange transition into the world of adult swimming. For example, I no long jump in the moment I get inside the area, and instead “wait to get warm,” a concept that perplexed and enraged my 10 year-old self whenever my mother said it. Now, I only swim at break time, in order to avoid the newest incarnation of pool rat.
Possibly the largest change in my pool behavior is that I no longer converge on the pool with ten of my closest, screaming friends, prepared with nothing but a pair of broken flip flops and half a wash cloth as my towel. Now, pool time means an excuse for pool accessories — which really just means and excuse to stalk Amazon, let’s be real.
The Perfect Breezy Cover Up
Breeze on into the pool looking like the hottest bitch in town. You will rule that snack stand, and all the preteens will cower before you in awe.
The Comfiest Beach Towel
The best thing about all three of these towels is that they serve as equally wonderful capes.
A Hat To Hide You From The Peasants
A hat says a lot about who you are as a person. It also gives a clear message to everyone else around you: leave me alone.
Vehicles For Your Snacks
Pool snack shacks are notoriously shady. Don’t buy into their criminal enterprise. Smuggle in your own snacks.
A Bag To Fit Your Things In
You’re going to inevitably overpack and then forget your sunscreen. But at least you’ll have a cute bag to dig through desperately.
A Really Good Book
The only thing that makes getting sweaty and listening to children scream bearable: a good book.