Think about all of the formulaic inspirational guides you have read in the past. Some of them might stick, but many do not. Think of how you may have continually told yourself that despite your dreams, things like that aren’t meant for people like you. Over time, like a river chipping away at a large bedrock, our self-confidence and sense of non-permissive power can often be taken away from us. Sometimes, we take it away from ourselves, through false beliefs or simply being too busy to even notice it happening.
Unlocking the power at your fingertips is really possible though. It’s not a great sin to admit that, nor to feel it. It’s not a sin to hope that you can follow your dreams once again, no matter how tired you are of motivational quotes on Instagram or trying to understand who you really are. Life is not easy, but it can be meaningful in spite of this. Sometimes, a little helpful advice to shake you by the roots and help you admit that can achieve this.
So, in an attempt to break tradition from the long line of formulaic advice you may have absorbed before now, let us try and be real with you. Let us consider just how to unlock that power, without relying on baseless appeals:
Streamlining Your Life
Unfortunately, it is not uncommon for a pile-up of negative habits, attitudes, and people to surround you in life. Call it entropy, worry, fatigue, or whatever label you have for it. Everyone undergoes this process, and if not, they are either very fortunate or wrapped in cotton wool, protected from the rest of the world. From time to time, streamlining your life can give you a true sense of clarity and also allow you to operate with care, consideration and confidence as you may have before. Streamlining your life is also never something you need to ask permission for – because why would you?
Let us consider some examples. Perhaps you have a friend who you used to be close with who only seems to talk about themselves whenever you meet up for coffee. Despite you being close with them they keep forgetting your birthday despite your great gift this year. Perhaps they were nowhere to be seen during your last breakup. Sure everyone has a different life and different priorities, but after discussing how little you feel seen they may not have made any change in their actions despite promising they would. In this example, you may decide to simply move on and make friends who do care for you. After all, we can only have so many people in our life, and so reserving those spots for the most worthwhile ones can be an important process to keep.
When you streamline your life, you save an untold amount of time, money, and emotional distress focusing on people who may not reciprocate. It can feel like taking a ‘social shower,’ free of all the grime that had been building up. Do this, and you’ll notice a greater sense of self-respect regarding the time you spend with others.
Admitting Your Mistakes
We often see-through ‘Instagram advice’ and many other insincere suggestions from those who designate themselves as a ‘life coach’ that you must never be in the wrong. Surely if you are annoyed then other people are not good enough, or perhaps you always live ‘your truth’ to whatever degree you wish for.
But unfortunately, thinking this way can sometimes blind you to your own sense of personal responsibility. Being rude is not simply you ‘telling it like it is,’ but causing a harmful social experience for those around you. Of course, like anything, there’s a fine line to walk here. But remember, there’s actually no great personality flaw in admitting your mistakes. Doing so can actually make you stronger.
When you are honest with yourself to this degree, a personal sense of inner justice and upholding your own standards becomes much easier. Additionally, you’ll have no dead driftwood surrounding your personality. You would be surprised how uncommon this can be. If you ever wish to unlock the power at your fingertips, you also need to unlock the weaknesses that are there. This seems obvious, but many do not think this possible, nor do they think that a rational analysis of our actions can lead us to strength. This is, of course, misguided.
But again – do not expect perfection at all costs. That is not helpful, nor reasonable. Sometimes other people are in the wrong and you need to move on. Sometimes people are not compatible and both are at fault. Sometimes, just sometimes, you may have had a justification for expressing yourself as forcefully as you did. But the bedrock of honesty is where this confidence comes from. Focus on this through reflecting on your actions, meditation and also staying self-aware, and you’ll notice you feel much more present in your social situations. In other words, you’ll feel much more like yourself. And if that’s not the goal we’re aiming for here – then what is?
Learning Something New
Mahatma Gandhi once said ‘Live as if you were to die tomorrow, learn as if you were to live forever.’ Perhaps this first suggestions is quite intensive and confusing despite its motivational factor, although it does denote keeping your ethics strong and your morals well-calibrated. But it’s the second part that strikes the most interest. It suggests that no matter what, learning is a good unto itself.
We can often forget this, because we can often disregard all the forms of learning we take part in each day. From social learning, to following a fitness regime, to learning a new recipe, we all keep ourselves active and in a growth state each day no matter if we know it or not.
However, it could be that we wish to be open to more opportunities for us, to grow as an individual. It can seem hard to achieve, because to grow we must both be the marble and the sculptor at the same time. But first – you need to know what ambitions you have so you can direct your learning, and prevent it from feeling like drudgery.
In other words, you need to focus on your dreams, because through this learning mindset you can take actionable steps towards them. You may wish to become a TWU nurse practitioner, learn to challenge yourself through opening your own business startup, or even put your tech skills to good use by finally applying to coding jobs. Often, we do not feel actualized unless we have a realistic action plan towards our goals. This is where SMART goals can help you plan correctly, meaning your goals have to be specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and timely. Focus on this approach, and you will notice how your life improves.
Self-Care
Self-care is confidence, and confidence is self-care. You cannot hope to achieve one without making yourself a priority. You cannot hope to enjoy the best of a social situation without taking care of yourself. You cannot hope to be rid of negative behaviors that might have haunted you without applying self-care.
If you know that you’re a force to be reckoned with in the gym, if you’ve paid your dues on the yoga mat this morning, if you’ve meditated your way to total peace each morning, then your caring for your physical and mental health is in top form. We can often feel a sense of unease and discomfort within ourselves if we let our stressors build or pay attention too closely to what people might say. This can only be harmful, and quite worrying at the end of the day. It’s when we apply careful self-care that we realize just how shaking off our cobwebs was an easy disciplinary morning away from being solved.
If you know that you can squat well in the gym, or if you work through your frustrations by running each morning, tolerating someone’s irritable glances or comments are really low on the totem pole as to what may upset and harm you. You may start to feel a slight film of social invincibility surround you during this process. This isn’t to say you are invincible, just that through the art of caring for yourself, you once again make yourself an important part of your life. After all, we can’t love others correctly unless we love and care for ourselves.
Something happens when you focus on yourself and care for yourself using the advice here. You start to unfurl like a blossoming flower. Things that worried you before become easier to deal with, and obstacles transform into challenges. Unlocking the power of your fingertips means finding what was there all along, but only giving yourself the means to express it. As you can see, this realization can be much more profound than ‘liking’ or retweeting any motivational social media post.
With this advice, you are certain to unlock the power at your fingertips. You deserve it.
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