Once you’ve had a baby or babies, you may not feel the absolute best about yourself. Although you’ve spent the time understanding your postpartum body more, it can be hard to accept the changes that have happened to it, after growing this amazing little baby, labor, breastfeeding, and giving all your time to bringing and raising small humans that are solely dependent upon you. Of course, being a parent is so rewarding and you cherish and love these children more than anything. It can still be hard. You may find yourself investing everything you have into being the best mom that along the way you’ve lost a little of the spark that made you stand out and be you as an individual person.
Of course, everyone around you sees how amazing and beautiful you are. However, it can be hard to see that yourself sometimes. Here are some tips on how you’ll be able to see that beauty that shines around all parents and start regaining that confidence within yourself and how you can become your own person again, outside of the title of ‘mom’.
Make Time For Your Appearance
Your body may have changed but that does not mean that you have to hide it away under layers of baggy, ill-fitting clothes. Your body has done something amazing and although you may now have stretch marks, some loose skin, and possibly still have a few extra pounds being carried around, but you still look fantastic.
Go to your wardrobe, and if needed to the mall, and find an outfit that makes you feel good. Wearing something that brings some semblance to the ‘you’ that you want to be again is the first step. Remember you are a person too, and you are entitled to feel good, so don’t feel guilty about carving out a few extra minutes for yourself each day to put on a nice outfit that makes your feel confident.
The same can be said if before children you enjoyed wearing make-up and doing your hair. There is no reason you can’t do this again. Yes, you may still get some grubby sticky kisses on your perfectly made-up face and your hair pulled loose or falling out of place when your dashing about, but you have made that step into regaining yourself and making time again for the things you love to do. This is the first step. Once you start doing these little things for yourself it will become easier over time.
Of course, even with a change of clothes, a little makeup, or a session at the hair salon, not everyone feels amazing still. It really depends on yourself however, it is always worth exploring further what it is that is bringing you down and what you can do to improve this. For some women after years of breastfeeding, they find they no longer love their breasts and their shape. In some cases, a good supporting bra can fix everything and make you feel good again in your clothes however others prefer to look into getting breast implants to help their confidence grow.
Make Time For Your Passion
Along with regaining that personal image of the old you, you also need to make time for those personal interests. You still love your children, but there is more to you than just being a Mom. Think back to all of the things you loved before gaining this title.
By going back to and making this time for yourself you will be able to find that confidence within you as your own person and which in turn helps you regain that sense of identity.
Ditch The Mom Guilt
It can be so easy to throw every bit of you into being a Mom but that when you start making changes to regain some balance between you as an individual person and you as a Mom, it can be tough and you might find yourself guilty or failing as a Mom but taking a step back.
However, it is so important to ditch this guilt. You need to take a step back and consider why this is adjustment is so important and when you are feeling guilty bring these reasons to the front of your mind and let them push you to continue. By making the time, not only are you showing you and your children that self-care and self-love are important, but you are taking the time for yourself and to recharge and regain some energy. To be the best parent you need to be the best version of yourself. You cannot give everything to your children if you get the point of running on empty. So consider how and when you will be able to make this time and try to build it into your everyday.
Don’t Give Up On Exercising And Striving To Be The Best You
Yes, it can be more tricky to find the time to exercise, but finding or making it is so worthwhile. Not only can you work on those areas of your body that your maybe not in love with anymore, but you’ll be able to keep yourself fit and healthy and build up your stamina so you can keep up when the kids try and run rings around you. Plus, once you get started the endorphins that will be released will make you feel so positive and good about yourself, your confidence will be lifted immediately. You’ll even find that it will give you more energy too, so although it might be an adjustment to bring this into your daily routine there is so much to be gained.
The great news is there are actually many ways this can be achieved. Of course, you can review your schedule and fit it in around the children, possibly wake a little earlier to squeeze it in before the day starts. There are also, gyms that have childcare on-site and plenty of Mommy and Me classes where you and can go together. Alternatively, you can always do home workouts. The resources available to support this are incredible. They have workouts online for fitness levels and capabilities, along with various exercise types, so it is definitely worth looking into if you can’t access a gym or class.
Have Date Nights And Nights Out
They say parenting is a full-time job and that you are call 24/7. Of course, this is true to an extent however, it doesn’t have to apply. The majority of people have the opportunity through the use of family, friends, or babysitters to be able to have the luxury of having some child-free time.
It is so important when you can that as a couple you can take the time to continue to nurture your relationship and view one and another as your partner and not as Mom or Dad. Being seen by your significant other as the vibrant woman you are will only boost your confidence and help you view yourself from this different perspective as well.
The same goes, for socializing. You are ditching the Mom guilt and taking one night or a few hours off occasionally to let your hair down and be you. This all links back to self-care and how it is so important that you start making regular time for yourself and how this will support you grow and find that confidence again.
Find A Mom Tribe
Of course, finding and making time away from the children can be tricky and it is important to acknowledge that there will be days and times when you will not have as much personal time as you would like. In these cases, it is always helpful to have a bunch of other Moms to hand.
By building up a support system and tribe of Moms, you will find yourself in a position of having the best of both. You can have the adult conversation and other parents that understand what you are going through and someone who shares the same hands-on experience to be able to offer advice and tips on how to manage and make adjustments. They are also able to relate and possibly wanting to join you on this self-discovery journey and can become your soundboard on best to approach the changes you are looking to make.
So not only have you gained a group of like-minded individuals you have also gained an opportunity to blend the two aspects of yourself and life into one convenient bundle. The joy of Mom friends is they understand, they too can tune out the shouting of toddlers and have the uncanny ability to flit into and out of conversations around the child’s needs. So even when you have got little ones about you can still seek that solace of having adult conversation and that extra pair of hands available. They do say it take a village to raise a child for a reason.
So get socializing. Push yourself to attend play groups, parks or speak to the other parents at kindergarten or school.